Hi, friends - a quick note to let you know what's on my mind today - and share my reflection on the significance of the "Day of the Dead", The Mexican Día de los Fieles Difuntos, a day to celebrate and honor the lives of the deceased. Tonight I was sitting in Three Friends Coffee House when a group gathered to talk about how those who have passed affected their lives. I had to leave, but then thought that our blog might be a way to honor the Day of the Dead!
Today I am remembering two people in my life who touched me in life and death. First, I would like to honor my friend Bev Brown, who I met six months before her death, and who affected me profoundly by allowing me to witness the process of her death just two years ago October 27. Bev was an extraordinary woman with an extraordinary vision. I wish I had gotten to know her earlier, though I continue to learn more and more about her in her death.
Secondly I would like to honor my mother , Louise Irene Thompson - who was the rock of my existence, my dear mother, my friend and my hero. She was diagnosed with bladder cancer the day after Beverly's death in October 2005. Mom passed away February 20, 2006. Being a person who was not necessecarily sheltered from the challenges of life, but certainly sheltered from and naive about terminal illness and death untill my 44th year, the four or five month period spanning from September 2005 through February 2006 revealed to me the pain and suffering, the trauma, the depth of humanity and paradoxically the beauty and gift that a loved one's passing may bring. For the first time in my life death was thrown before me, and I realized how integral beginnings and endings are to our living life to the fullest. I changed during my 44th year, and while I don't necessarily attribute the recent changes that I have made in my life directly to the passing of my friend and of my mom, both experiences contributed to a shift that has allowed me to risk where I wasn't willing to risk before.
So here I offer to you a couple of lessons I have learned through the events of my 44th year - and I am sure you have heard it before; they may even seem cliche: Look around. Step outside of yourself. Look at each friend, family member, stranger, even pet - recognize their being. Appreciate the lives that touch you. Hold them close, through the difficulties, through the trauma and pain of cancer or other disease. If you meet a new friend and she is dying, get to know her. And hold your mother's hand at her bedside. If you have differences, seek to understand them and gain compassion. Hold her because she held you and protected you as well as she knew how. Act out of love, not fear. When you are afraid, remember that - act out of love, not fear.
As my mother was dying at home, her energy declined with every breath. But as friends arrived to honor her, she had bursts of energy. Bev called them pods - limited, but true pods of energy. Mom held her hands up, toward those who greeted her and reached for their faces, their heads. She smiled as if seeing a glowing life force. She acknowledged their being without saying so verbally, but by cradling their heads in her hands. It was so beautiful.
I still miss my mom terribly, and think of her often. I still go to pick up the phone when something new happens, and as this process of opening Touchstone Coffee House has progressed, I long to hear her encouragement and guidance. I am comforted to know that I see her in my siblings, my neices and nephews, and knowing that I am also her in many ways, I know that she is with me. I really do appreciate that I had her as long as I did.
Thank you for listening, if you would like to, please share about the passing of someone you loved!
Karen
Posted at: 10:41 PM | Add Comment
| 
| 
del.icio.us
